Pope John Paul II's body is carried through St. Peter's Square and into St Peter's Basilica for public viewing, Monday April 4 2005, four days before his remains will be entombed in the grotto below the church. With tens of thousands of mourners outside hoping for a glimpse of the body, 12 pallbearers flanked by Swiss Guards carry the late pontiff's body on a crimson platform from the Sala Clementina, where it had laid in state since Sunday.(AP Photo/Andrew Medichini)

idiotas veritas  mal espiritu

 I, Ioannes Paulus  II, being of sound mind and body, do of my own free will hereby bequeath the following:

 First, to the Blessed Virgin Mary Immaculate, Co-Redemptrix, Mother of God, Our Lady, I commend my spirit into her eternal hands……….

To God-fearing President Bush and dear Laura, I bequeath my Rosary, that they, too, might rule the world in her name and to her everlasting glory…….

To his faithful father, George, and faithless President Clinton, I bequeath my scarlet robes and ruby slippers……….

To Condoleezza Rice, my African sister of color, I bequeath my Playmobile Nun. May it give her the innumerable hours of pleasure it gave me…….

To Rev. Billy Graham, my good friend and ecumenical spiritual ally, I bequeath my beloved pet vipers and personal viper handler, Brother Boris Sapien, O. S. B………….

To my Pentecostal tongue-wagging brother, the multi-millionaire television mogul, Paul Crouch,

I bequeath a priceless papal tiara from my extensive collection of royal headdresses. May it bless him in both good health and bad, in times of celibacy and adultery……….


To precious Jan Crouch, my wig-wearing, ever-weeping sister in Christ, whose plastic surgeries rival only that of brother Michael Jackson, I bequeath my gaudiest gold papal ring. May it always glitter like her contact lenses and shine like her dentures………

To brother Hinn, 

whose mighty wonder working miracles nearly equal mine, I bequeath to Benny my beanie. May its sexy lavender color bring him continued prosperity and much passion from Mrs. Hinn. And may his hair continue to surprise and delight us…………….

And last, but not least, to my separated brethren at iconbusters and other like-minded heretical ministries, I bequeath my favorite Greco painting, one which graced the wall of my bedchamber for decades………the burning of a Protestant heretic who refused to recant!